Discussion on always being "there" for you kids
There is quite a discusion going on my AlwaysLearning : Learning All the Time email list about help a mom new to unschooling and allowing freedom for her kids.
Now my kids have tons of freedom, sometimes I wonder if I have helped them to not even ask me for help. Like for example this morning W wanted to get something down we had hanging on a nail up high. Instead of asking me to get it down (I was sitting right there) he dumped out a toys crate to bring it over to stand on it. I asked if I could help him get that down and he said YES!
My kids help themselves to food all day, have no limits and eat what they want. They tend to eat the junky things first and when it runs out they eat the good stuff. I don't have a problem with this. On of the problems this mother suggested was that the kids would drink all the juice boxes in one day and then not have them for the rest of the week. I was thinking about this while organizing my bookshelf. Of coarse K and W were right there playing Lemony Snickets on Playstation and T across the room using the computer so I asked them. What would you do, would you drink a whole box? They all answered together no. First they said it was too much juice to drink in one day, then they said they would like to save some for later in the week. K gave an example of her popcicles that are in the freezer. This week she's had some days when she has had three! The next day she had none but instead have more then a few yogurts. The next day a couple more, but she paces herself.
This is what I believe is an important learned skill that most people are not giving the opportunity to explore when they are children. They are not giving unlimited acess to sweets, or snacks and are regulated by a parent. This ends up usually with bad eating habits once they are out of the parents homes, like college or out on their own because for the first time they are able to gorge themselves and have never found their bodies signals that it is time to stop.
My kids are finding these cues early. I have to say none of them are overweight even with unlimited access to food. They are all in slims.
So the replies that this woman has receive have got me thinking about my parenting skills and my unschool understanding. I let me kids go, make suggestion of more ways to explore things they show interest in but do mostly my own thing throughout the day. They are suggesting to this mother that she should be more involoved in their lives. Now I am with my kids 24/7 except for once a month when I go to discussion group with attachment parenting friends or occasionally the grocery store.
I am asking myself though if I am really there though. I am a very persistant person which means that I like to stick with something until it's done. This results in a lot of in a minute I'll come look. I'll help with the hard part of the game in a little while. etc.
Today I will try to be more there. Hard to do when your in pain but I will try.
Now my kids have tons of freedom, sometimes I wonder if I have helped them to not even ask me for help. Like for example this morning W wanted to get something down we had hanging on a nail up high. Instead of asking me to get it down (I was sitting right there) he dumped out a toys crate to bring it over to stand on it. I asked if I could help him get that down and he said YES!
My kids help themselves to food all day, have no limits and eat what they want. They tend to eat the junky things first and when it runs out they eat the good stuff. I don't have a problem with this. On of the problems this mother suggested was that the kids would drink all the juice boxes in one day and then not have them for the rest of the week. I was thinking about this while organizing my bookshelf. Of coarse K and W were right there playing Lemony Snickets on Playstation and T across the room using the computer so I asked them. What would you do, would you drink a whole box? They all answered together no. First they said it was too much juice to drink in one day, then they said they would like to save some for later in the week. K gave an example of her popcicles that are in the freezer. This week she's had some days when she has had three! The next day she had none but instead have more then a few yogurts. The next day a couple more, but she paces herself.
This is what I believe is an important learned skill that most people are not giving the opportunity to explore when they are children. They are not giving unlimited acess to sweets, or snacks and are regulated by a parent. This ends up usually with bad eating habits once they are out of the parents homes, like college or out on their own because for the first time they are able to gorge themselves and have never found their bodies signals that it is time to stop.
My kids are finding these cues early. I have to say none of them are overweight even with unlimited access to food. They are all in slims.
So the replies that this woman has receive have got me thinking about my parenting skills and my unschool understanding. I let me kids go, make suggestion of more ways to explore things they show interest in but do mostly my own thing throughout the day. They are suggesting to this mother that she should be more involoved in their lives. Now I am with my kids 24/7 except for once a month when I go to discussion group with attachment parenting friends or occasionally the grocery store.
I am asking myself though if I am really there though. I am a very persistant person which means that I like to stick with something until it's done. This results in a lot of in a minute I'll come look. I'll help with the hard part of the game in a little while. etc.
Today I will try to be more there. Hard to do when your in pain but I will try.
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